the naughty mama

Along with all the other great stuff you will find at, is this: Sex and the Suburbs -- notes from the romantic life & times of a real married mama with little kids.

I know who the naughty mama in question is (and it isn't me), but my lips are sealed.


writing it all down

""As for me, I've chosen to follow a simple course: Come clean. And wherever possible, live your life in a way that won't leave you tempted to lie. Failing that, I'd rather be disliked for who I truly am than loved for who I'm not. So I tell my story. I write it down. I even publish it. Sometimes this is a humbling experience. Sometimes it's embarrassing. But I haul around no terrible secrets."

----Joyce Maynard


let them eat cake

I have a new column published today about my slacker-mom approach to feeding my kids.

Let me know what you think.

eureka! it's all about the hair.

After emptying my e-mail inbox of ten more messages from people who wanted me to watch the hilarious raw video feed of John Edwards fluffing his abundant hair, I had a sudden epiphany.

95% of the friends and family members who sent me the Edwards video were white men over the age of 35. All of them plan to vote for Bush & Cheney. And .... all of them are losing their hair or worried about losing their hair!

So it came to me in a flash: NASCAR dads and Angry White Guys are never going to vote for two men -- John Kerry & John Edwards --with such unusually lustrous, thick and gorgeous hair! They feel threatened by all that good hair. I mean, the market for hair restoration products for white guys wouldn't be so huge if American men DIDN'T envy men with really good hair -- men, dare I say it, like John Edwards and John Kerry.

And look at Cheney, whom these guys do support. He's bald as an egg. A coincidence? I think not. And Bush's hair is mediocre at best.


merry pranksters

When I got home from work the other night, my children were rolling around on the lawn in stitches. They had talked our nanny into driving them to Bush-Cheney HQ after school and picking up a large "W: The President" yard sign. Then they replaced our Kerry sign with the Bush one. They couldn't wait for me to drive up and freak out that someone had switched our signs. It would have been a good joke except that the fact that they were howling with laughter and pointing at the sign sort of gave them away. I gave them an "A" for initiative though.


Lots of people I know long for light, bright, airy houses. I prefer a warm, private sort of space where I can coccoon for an afternoon with a good book and feel like I won't be bothered.

I like warm wood and old paisley prints and enveloping velvet and drape-y silk. I like stacks of books and old lamps and cozy nooks and crannies.

But most of all, I love sitting in front of a fireplace, which is what I'm doing right now.

Evenings, after my children are tucked in, I have an hour or two (depending how tired I want to be the next day) all to myself to relax in front of my fireplace with a book and a glass of something good. My dogs, Fiat and Leo, usually stretch out in front of the fire with me. It's my favorite time of day and my favorite spot.

I think maybe I like fireplaces so much because I grew up in an old farmhouse in Bell Buckle, TN with no electric heat of any kind. We heated with wood and were cold a lot of the time (I swear to God I slept in a hat and mittens in the winter. My parents seemed to believe that it would improve our character to know what it feels like to be cold unless someone went out and got more wood from the pile.) but the room with the woodstove was always toasty and I spent many afternoons sprawled out in front of the fire, reading. Now my children do the same, although we do HAVE heat we can turn on if we like.

Tonight the children and I were hanging out in front of the fire together. It sort of lulls them into a sleepy mood. They were each drawing or reading and Elliot, my six year old, said out of the blue: "Mama, I'm glad we don't have TV and I'm glad we have a fireplace." This was a switch, since my children tell me relatively often that I am ruining their lives by refusing to get cable (we DO have a TV, but it only gets two network channels).

I told him that I agree.



Today was one of those perfect fall days...sunny and cool. About 60 degrees. Time to pull out the jeans and sweaters.

It was also a very busy day, with all three children doing their things. First up was a drive to a horse show at Noah's Ark Farm where I dropped Jane off to spend the day with our friends from Dogwood Hunt Club. Jane wasn't showing, but she wanted to hang out with her gaggle of horse show pals for the day.

Then we headed back toward Knoxville, where I dropped Henry off at the paintball field for his weekly league game.

After that, we raced to Lakeshore Park for Elliot's soccer game. He was very worried we were late (and I was too), but we got there in time. His team was playing his best friend Teddy's team, which was cute. Elliot and Teddy love each other. I always wonder at what age (they are both 6 now)they will stop greeting each other with desperate hugs of happiness every time they see one another. Never, I hope ;-)

The game was good. Elliot, as always, turns off the silliness as soon as the game starts and is 100% focused. He is very assertive and quick and just generally a really good player. He loves it, too. After the game, he was invited to go home and spend the night with Teddy, so I left alone.

Then it was back for paintball watching (which I admit to not understanding at all). I can never figure out which team won or why. But I try to pay attention and not look bored ;-)

I am honest with Henry that given my druthers, I would rather watch a horseshow than do just about anything else, so after a while I went and watched the show with my friend Ann Casady (who owns Dogwood). She had seven really nice ponies showing and all their kids did very well.

Horse show kids have their own fashions and it amuses me to see how they all dress alike even when they aren't showing that day. Dozens of little girls, all with loooong hair (better for braiding under a helmet), Dansko clogs and horsey-themed t-shirts. The kids showing that day also wear their breeches or jodphurs and the new thing is ribbon belts straight out of The Preppy Handbook (circa 1984).

When Sydney Casady finished her classes, she left to come spend the night with us. I love Sydney -- I would adopt her in an instant -- so I'm happy when she and Jane get to play together.

And now my niece Eleanor is here as well and Henry has gone to eat Indian Food with my sister and brother in law.

A good day, all in all.