eureka! it's all about the hair.

After emptying my e-mail inbox of ten more messages from people who wanted me to watch the hilarious raw video feed of John Edwards fluffing his abundant hair, I had a sudden epiphany.

95% of the friends and family members who sent me the Edwards video were white men over the age of 35. All of them plan to vote for Bush & Cheney. And .... all of them are losing their hair or worried about losing their hair!

So it came to me in a flash: NASCAR dads and Angry White Guys are never going to vote for two men -- John Kerry & John Edwards --with such unusually lustrous, thick and gorgeous hair! They feel threatened by all that good hair. I mean, the market for hair restoration products for white guys wouldn't be so huge if American men DIDN'T envy men with really good hair -- men, dare I say it, like John Edwards and John Kerry.

And look at Cheney, whom these guys do support. He's bald as an egg. A coincidence? I think not. And Bush's hair is mediocre at best.