Tuesday

For two decades, I have watched young women experience the continual “mission creep” of how pornography—and now Internet pornography—has lowered their

This article by Naomi Wolf is one of the most simple, yet profound commentaries on the issue of pornography and modern sexual relationships that I've ever read/heard. So many women I know struggle to explain to their husbands and boyfriends why guys' use of porn (particularly the ever-more-available-and-ever-more-extreme online porn) bothers them, but are unable to articulate their concern without worrying that they sound like uptight prudes. Wolf argues that easy access to lots of lots of hardcore porn has created a situation in which a real woman, even an attractive, sex-positive, naked, real woman has become nothing more than "bad porn."

Wolf writes: "The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention...

For two decades, I have watched young women experience the continual “mission creep” of how pornography—and now Internet pornography—has lowered their sense of their own sexual value and their actual sexual value. When I came of age in the seventies, it was still pretty cool to be able to offer a young man the actual presence of a naked, willing young woman. There were more young men who wanted to be with naked women than there were naked women on the market. If there was nothing actively alarming about you, you could get a pretty enthusiastic response by just showing up. Your boyfriend may have seen Playboy, but hey, you could move, you were warm, you were real...

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it."