Loco Parentis

i've moved

2004-12-10T17:21:00.000Z

My blog has moved. Visit my new home on the web at: KatieAllisonGranju.com

2004-12-10T02:43:00.000Z

I finally got the photos from our vacation. Here is one of Jane and me.

my neighborhood - this weekend

2004-12-03T19:09:00.000Z

We in Old North Knoxville hope you can attend the 16th Annual Victorian Holiday Home Tour.

When: Saturday, Dec. 4th from 4 - 9 p.m. and Sunday, December 5th from 1 - 5 p.m.
Where: Old North Knoxville
What: 10 homes and 1 church representing late 19th and early 20th architecture
How: Buy advance tickets at area Kroger stores. Tickets now are $8 a piece.

On the days of the tour, the price of tickets is $10 a piece and must be purchased at the booth in the St. Mary's lot on Woodland Ave. Trolleys will be provided to take on the tour and will stop at each home and the church so you can get out and go inside to tour. Trolleys leave from and return to the St. Mary's parking lot.

There are also three door prizes that you can register for.

The Fulton High School Choir will be singing Christmas songs and will be dressed in period costumes.

You can also purchase a Christmas ornament featuring the Brimer House Inn, the first bead and breakfast in an historic neighborhood in Knoxville.

For further details, call 523-HONK (4665) or visit www.oldnorthknoxville.org/hometour.htm.

no sale

2004-12-03T15:11:00.000Z

Trying to sell writing is hard work. It also involves a lot of rejection. In fact, I would say that being able to accept and then shake off rejection may be the most critical business skill a writer can have.

I was rejected this week by a major publisher that had shown strong interest in a book proposal my agent has been trying to sell for about a year. I'm disappointed, but not crushed. I just don't think this book was meant to be, so I am moving on to some other ideas.

But early on in my writing career, this would have kicked my ass. Now I can shake it off and there's something satisfying in that.

camera?

2004-11-25T14:57:00.000Z

i want to buy an affordable small video camera that also takes good stills. it needs to do well with distance & action shots, but will rarely be used in low light situations.

i don't really care what format it records in as long as I can also use a firewire to transfer the pix and video directly to my computer.

I welcome any and all suggestions because i'm pretty overwhelmed with all the options. so let me know if you have a video camera that you like.

Katie

star struck

2004-11-23T01:35:00.000Z

I've had the opportunity to interview some really interesting people for various magazine and newspaper articles, but tomorrow, I get to have a real fan moment when I interview David O'Connor.

He's the head of the

choosing not to hit

2004-11-13T02:27:00.000Z

My friend Hilary Flower is working on her second book for La Leche League. Her new book is about gentle discipline, and she asked me to write the foreword. You should definitely buy Hilary's new book (as well as her wonderful first book).

This is the foreword I wrote for her:

The Discipline of Gentle Discipline

by Katie Allison Granju

Sometimes, I really, really feel like hitting my kids.

There, I’ve said it out loud.

It’s not something I felt comfortable telling people in my earliest years as a mother. I was afraid that my occasional urges to grab, scream at, shake or whack my children meant that there was something wrong with me. I was afraid these urges meant that I could never be the kind of gentle, attached mother I wanted to be. And mostly, I was afraid I might lose control and actually do the things I sometimes felt like doing.

Now that I’ve got some parenting experience under my belt --my children are 13, 9 and 6 years old – I am less afraid of the powerful and angry feelings each of them can sometimes evoke in me. I am also less afraid to admit those feelings. I have come to discover that virtually all mothers, including the ones whose mothering I most admire, sometimes feel the urge to smack one of their kids upside the head, or at least turn them over their knee.

The problem is that far too many people give in to those urges, and that as a culture, we continue to believe that “spanking” -- our benign-sounding euphemism for hitting children – continues to enjoy widespread acceptance as an effective and humane way of guiding children.

But spanking isn’t effective or humane. Study after study has demonstrated that parents who spank do not raise healthier, more productive, or more mentally sound adults than those who do not. In fact, the opposite is more often true. Yet many otherwise thoughtful and loving parents continue to buy into the myth that spanking offers important benefits, and that it’s an inevitable part of parenting.

I knew before I gave birth for the first time that I didn’t want to use corporal punishment to guide my kids, but when I would tell people this, they would respond with, “Oh, you say that now….,” with a knowing grin, assuming that I would eventually give up on this ridiculous idea of gentle discipline. But I didn’t give up on it.

I readily admit that I have not been perfect in my goal of gentle discipline. I have screamed at, threatened, and come very close to hitting my children on more than one occasion, but these behaviors have never found a permanent place in my parenting toolbox.

I will never forget the one time I did totally lose it and hit one of my children. It happened when my daughter was about three years old and had decided she would no longer wear clothing. At all. Ever.

We were late for some event and I had gotten her completely dressed, but when I went to scoop her up and dash out the door, she was stripped back down to her underwear. At this point, I snapped and smacked her on her rear end. Except I missed her very small bottom and my hand instead landed on her lower back, where it left a red, hand-shaped mark.

She stared at me in horror, having never been struck in her life. I stared back in equal horror. Then she said to me in a small, quavering voice I will never forget, “Mama, why did you hit me?” I burst into tears and held her and rocked her and assured her that I was very, very sorry and that she could trust me to never hit her again. I told her that it was never okay for anyone to strike her.

That night, as I tried to fall asleep, I couldn’t get the incident out of my mind. I realized that I certainly did not want my daughter to grow up believing that sometimes, under the “right” circumstances, she deserved to be hit by the people she loves. I reaffirmed my vow to myself that I would raise my children without violence.

Despite several near-misses over the years – times when I have had to leave the room, scream into a pillow, or take deep breaths and count to ten to avoid lashing out at my children – it’s a vow I have managed to keep. And wonder of wonder, it’s working.

My children are polite, well-behaved (most of the time), thoughtful people. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding, and when people compliment me on the kids’ behavior, I always make a point to say that I don’t spank them. And on the days when one of them is making me feel like sticking my head in the oven, I find that it helps for me to vent to friends who have children even older than mine – parents who also avoid physical punishment - so these mothers and fathers can remind me how well their kids have turned out …without spankings or other harsh disciplinary methods.

This is why I recommend that parents of very young children who want to avoid punitive and physical discipline methods spend time around parents of older children who hold the same views. On the days when your toddler is making you insane and you feel ready to pull out the wooden spoon for a few swats on a diapered bottom, it helps to see the end product of gentle discipline: kids who behave well because they trust and believe in their parents’ guidance, not because they are afraid they will be slapped, spanked or worse.

As for whether spanking is a humane method of discipline, it is not. The fact that so many parents continue to employ corporal punishment doesn’t make it any more humane. After all, it wasn’t so many decades ago that many people believed that, should a husband feel it necessary, he had the right to strike his wife.

One of these days, our attitudes about hitting kids – the most vulnerable members of our families – will similarly evolve so that we will look back on the practice of “spanking” as another form of domestic violence. These are strong words, but I believe them.

Getting through the days, the weeks and eventually, the years of parenting without using physical discipline is, in itself a discipline. I find that having made the promise to myself that I will not resort to hitting provides me with the parenting “North Star” I can use to re-orient myself when I feel angriest. And I have also found that when I am feeling most out-of-control in my parenting, it’s a signal to me that something else is going on in my life, something that needs some of my attention and reflection.

In picking up this important book by Hilary Flower, you have taken a first step in finding your own parenting “true north.” In it, you will find many specific ideas and strategies for raising healthy, happy, well-behaved children using gentle discipline that really works.

And remember, on the really hard days, there’s always the tried and true method of finding a place in your home where no one can hear you, closing the door, and screaming at the top of your lungs until the urge to throttle your child passes, at least for the moment.

Copyright Katie Allison Granju -- 2004 -- All Rights Reserved

author attention deficit disorder

2004-11-10T01:36:00.000Z

Although I am frankly frightened by the amount of psychotropic drugs now being taken by kids, I have to admit that I've become intrigued by the topic of ADD. I am researching the topic for an article I'm writing for a magazine.

As I read through the symptoms, I realized that I would unquestionably have been diagnosed with ADD if I were a kid now instead of a kid in the 70s and 80s. Except for discipline problems at home and in the classroom, I had just about every single symptom.

And in fact, I still do. I clearly fit the adult ADD profile, which is why writing and editing are a good job fit for me. I get to do new things every week or even every day, so I never have to stay with something beyond the limit of my very scattered attention span.

fiat & leo

2004-11-07T01:56:00.000Z

This is my Jack Russell mix, Fiat. He has become very itchy and I am getting a lot of advice to stop feeding him any dogfood with corn in it. If it will help, I'll do it, but I'm skeptical. So if you have had good luck with helping an itchy dog by cutting corn out, let me know.

I have two dogs, Fiat and Leo, who is a 4 month old Great Pyrenees puppy. Leo already weighs over 50 pounds and is growing really fast. But Fiat, who only weighs 20 lbs and, because he is an has stubby little short legs, totally dominates Leo. He tells him when he can eat, how close he can get to the sofa when Fiat is sitting on it, which toys Leo is allowed to pick up... It's pretty funny, but I do wonder at what point Leo will realize that HE should be bossing runty Fiat around.

Having a Jack Russell and a Great Pyrenees (Leo is my second GP by the same name), demonstrates to me every day how much of dog behavior is genetic. Jack Russells are bre to ne speedy, super active, fast-thinking dogs with a high prey drive. GPs are very calm and dignified -- sometimes seeming aloof - and wouldn't think of chasing a cat or squirrel.

But neither breed is very good at following obedience commands. They are both stubborn as all get out.

I wonder what it says about me that these are my two favorite dog breeds... Maybe that I have some kind of personality disorder ;-)

2004-11-07T01:52:00.000Z

Fiat

producer 101

2004-11-02T01:55:00.000Z

Today, the first TV piece I've ever written & produced aired. As someone who has always written for print/online. It was fun to see my words become pictures. I was so lucky to get to work with the most talented and generous Bill Williams, a legend in TV news in these parts. He was tremendously encouraging and patient with me.

Let me know what you think.

autumn jumping

2004-10-25T01:12:00.000Z

My favorite part of riding is jumping. Today I spent several perfect hours at my friend Ann's farm riding her quarter horse, Anna. We jumped and jumped - in the ring and out cross-country -- and it was seriously fun. It's especially fun when all the leaves are turning in beautiful East Tennessee.

If you have never gone riding on a sunny October day, I suggest you remedy the situation ASAP.

the naughty mama

2004-10-23T19:55:00.000Z

Along with all the other great stuff you will find at LiteraryMama.com, is this: Sex and the Suburbs -- notes from the romantic life & times of a real married mama with little kids.

I know who the naughty mama in question is (and it isn't me), but my lips are sealed.

writing it all down

2004-10-22T15:16:00.000Z

""As for me, I've chosen to follow a simple course: Come clean. And wherever possible, live your life in a way that won't leave you tempted to lie. Failing that, I'd rather be disliked for who I truly am than loved for who I'm not. So I tell my story. I write it down. I even publish it. Sometimes this is a humbling experience. Sometimes it's embarrassing. But I haul around no terrible secrets."

----Joyce Maynard

let them eat cake

2004-10-21T19:32:00.000Z

I have a new column published today about my slacker-mom approach to feeding my kids.

Let me know what you think.

eureka! it's all about the hair.

2004-10-21T16:40:00.000Z

After emptying my e-mail inbox of ten more messages from people who wanted me to watch the hilarious raw video feed of John Edwards fluffing his abundant hair, I had a sudden epiphany.

95% of the friends and family members who sent me the Edwards video were white men over the age of 35. All of them plan to vote for Bush & Cheney. And .... all of them are losing their hair or worried about losing their hair!

So it came to me in a flash: NASCAR dads and Angry White Guys are never going to vote for two men -- John Kerry & John Edwards --with such unusually lustrous, thick and gorgeous hair! They feel threatened by all that good hair. I mean, the market for hair restoration products for white guys wouldn't be so huge if American men DIDN'T envy men with really good hair -- men, dare I say it, like John Edwards and John Kerry.

And look at Cheney, whom these guys do support. He's bald as an egg. A coincidence? I think not. And Bush's hair is mediocre at best.

merry pranksters

2004-10-19T17:22:00.000Z

When I got home from work the other night, my children were rolling around on the lawn in stitches. They had talked our nanny into driving them to Bush-Cheney HQ after school and picking up a large "W: The President" yard sign. Then they replaced our Kerry sign with the Bush one. They couldn't wait for me to drive up and freak out that someone had switched our signs. It would have been a good joke except that the fact that they were howling with laughter and pointing at the sign sort of gave them away. I gave them an "A" for initiative though.

fireplaces

2004-10-19T02:13:00.000Z

Lots of people I know long for light, bright, airy houses. I prefer a warm, private sort of space where I can coccoon for an afternoon with a good book and feel like I won't be bothered.

I like warm wood and old paisley prints and enveloping velvet and drape-y silk. I like stacks of books and old lamps and cozy nooks and crannies.

But most of all, I love sitting in front of a fireplace, which is what I'm doing right now.

Evenings, after my children are tucked in, I have an hour or two (depending how tired I want to be the next day) all to myself to relax in front of my fireplace with a book and a glass of something good. My dogs, Fiat and Leo, usually stretch out in front of the fire with me. It's my favorite time of day and my favorite spot.

I think maybe I like fireplaces so much because I grew up in an old farmhouse in Bell Buckle, TN with no electric heat of any kind. We heated with wood and were cold a lot of the time (I swear to God I slept in a hat and mittens in the winter. My parents seemed to believe that it would improve our character to know what it feels like to be cold unless someone went out and got more wood from the pile.) but the room with the woodstove was always toasty and I spent many afternoons sprawled out in front of the fire, reading. Now my children do the same, although we do HAVE heat we can turn on if we like.

Tonight the children and I were hanging out in front of the fire together. It sort of lulls them into a sleepy mood. They were each drawing or reading and Elliot, my six year old, said out of the blue: "Mama, I'm glad we don't have TV and I'm glad we have a fireplace." This was a switch, since my children tell me relatively often that I am ruining their lives by refusing to get cable (we DO have a TV, but it only gets two network channels).

I told him that I agree.

today

2004-10-17T01:11:00.000Z

Today was one of those perfect fall days...sunny and cool. About 60 degrees. Time to pull out the jeans and sweaters.

It was also a very busy day, with all three children doing their things. First up was a drive to a horse show at Noah's Ark Farm where I dropped Jane off to spend the day with our friends from Dogwood Hunt Club. Jane wasn't showing, but she wanted to hang out with her gaggle of horse show pals for the day.

Then we headed back toward Knoxville, where I dropped Henry off at the paintball field for his weekly league game.

After that, we raced to Lakeshore Park for Elliot's soccer game. He was very worried we were late (and I was too), but we got there in time. His team was playing his best friend Teddy's team, which was cute. Elliot and Teddy love each other. I always wonder at what age (they are both 6 now)they will stop greeting each other with desperate hugs of happiness every time they see one another. Never, I hope ;-)

The game was good. Elliot, as always, turns off the silliness as soon as the game starts and is 100% focused. He is very assertive and quick and just generally a really good player. He loves it, too. After the game, he was invited to go home and spend the night with Teddy, so I left alone.

Then it was back for paintball watching (which I admit to not understanding at all). I can never figure out which team won or why. But I try to pay attention and not look bored ;-)

I am honest with Henry that given my druthers, I would rather watch a horseshow than do just about anything else, so after a while I went and watched the show with my friend Ann Casady (who owns Dogwood). She had seven really nice ponies showing and all their kids did very well.

Horse show kids have their own fashions and it amuses me to see how they all dress alike even when they aren't showing that day. Dozens of little girls, all with loooong hair (better for braiding under a helmet), Dansko clogs and horsey-themed t-shirts. The kids showing that day also wear their breeches or jodphurs and the new thing is ribbon belts straight out of The Preppy Handbook (circa 1984).

When Sydney Casady finished her classes, she left to come spend the night with us. I love Sydney -- I would adopt her in an instant -- so I'm happy when she and Jane get to play together.

And now my niece Eleanor is here as well and Henry has gone to eat Indian Food with my sister and brother in law.

A good day, all in all.

urban hipster parents

2004-10-15T21:02:00.000Z

"I believe if God hadn’t meant for my daughters to be attired in Moschino, He would not have their toddler line discounted at Century 21."

Or so says Mary Elizabeth Williams in her hilarious essay today.

hurrah for trial lawyers

2004-10-15T16:51:00.000Z

I am so sick of the Republican Party blaming everything from the flu vaccine shortage to the Space Shuttle crash on trial lawyers.

In my experience, just as with abortion, people are generally opposed to trial lawyers until they or someone they love needs one.

I sincerely doubt that George Bush or Bill O'Reilly or Ann Coulter would not sue if their child or parent or best friend or THEY were badly injured by a careless doctor or crazy driver.

Of course, if one of these people wanted to sue, they could pay an attorney up front to represent their interests. However, if the average, working or middle class American needs to seek redress through the civil court system, they wouldn't be able to but for the fact that trial lawyers are willing to work on contingency, meaning that if one of these lawyers take the case and lose, they make not one penny.

2004-10-14T17:21:00.000Z

Jane jumping Reba

voodoo hand in the peace camp

2004-10-13T20:51:00.000Z

My favorite quote (among many) from this story is this one:

''It sort of looked like a voodoo hand, with hooked, beckoning fingers."

Dana "Daytrippn" Wilson

And I think I'm changing my middle name, too.

2004-10-13T01:28:00.000Z

Elliot amusing himself at a horse show

2004-10-13T01:24:00.000Z

Here is a picture of Henry, age 13 as of last week.

2004-10-13T01:21:00.000Z

I love this picture of Jane.

my life

2004-10-12T16:51:00.000Z

Periodically, someone points out to me that somewhere on the Web, a conversation is taking place about my writing and my personal life. One such discussion is apparently hopping now in Usenet.

For the past few years, these conversations have generally taken the form of people active in mean, nasty "childfree" ( as opposed to childless) newsgroups and e-mail lists laughing about the fact that I ended up divorced. They seem to find some irony in this, despite the fact that I've never handed out marital advice to anyone. (Their definition of irony seems to be straight from the Alanis Morrisette dictionary)

Their poorly reasoned point appears to be that, because I write about parenting, my marriage should have been divorce-proof. Or that because at various periods during my marriage, I was happy and believed I would remain happily married, it's just hilarious that it turned out I was wrong. They openly revel in the sad parts of my divorce, about which I've written some essays.

But here are two newsflashes for my bizarro online critics:

Newsflash #1: I'm happy. The divorce was really hard and painful, but it's over. I'm healthy, young, STILL love being a mom, and am enjoying a fun social life, a great job, my house, my dogs, politics, good beer, loud music, my knitting, horses, friends and just life in general. So save your schadenfreude for somebody else.

Newsflash #2: If you read the comments from these people, the truth eventually wiggles out; they don't care whether I'm married or not, happy or not, a mother or not, or right or wrong about various issues upon which I have an opinion. No, in fact these people are mostly bitter that I get paid to write and they don't.

Unfortunately, that's not something I or anyone else an help them with, since to become published, one must be able to write well on topics people actually care about, rather than simply engaging in online-groupthink-navel-gazing with a bunch of malcontents who already agree on how rotten the world is. At the very least, an aspiring writer should understand what's ironic and what's simply unexpected or incongruous (as in, "that woman who wrote a book about attachment parenting is now divorced")

Get a life, folks. Mine's taken.

Hugs 'n' kisses-

KAG

i love this blog

2004-10-12T16:30:00.000Z

http://www.smallhand.blogspot.com/

wilco + spongebob = my new favorite movie

2004-10-12T14:52:00.000Z

BURBANK, Calif. (AP) -- Country music is everywhere -- even under the sea. A song by Wilco is one of the tracks on the soundtrack for "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie," opening nationwide next month. And set for release on November ninth is "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: Music From The Movie And More." Wilco's Jeff Tweedy says he fell in love with SpongeBob when he heard him describe the darkness at the bottom of the sea as "advanced darkness." Tweedy adds writing a song for the movie automatically makes him "the coolest dad on the block." Other artists on the soundtrack album include Avril Lavigne and The Flaming Lips.

wooderson strikes back

2004-10-10T20:39:00.000Z

This is too funny.

Apparently there is a real Bobby Wooderson who went to school with Richard Linklater and now he is suing Linklater for ruining his life with the movie, Dazed and Confused.

That's just priceless. I have to say it seems a little bizarre that Linklater just used these guys' names in his movie (which is on my top ten faves list) instead of making up new ones, but I absolutely love it that Wooderson is a real person currently walking the arth.

call for submissions

2004-10-09T19:12:00.000Z

Call for submissions:

I am pitching a new anthology tentatively titled:

"How It Sold: The inside story from real authors on how their books made it into print."

The idea is this: just as women share their birth stories and soldiers swap war stories, writers trade publication stories. Aspiring authors, in particular, are always hungry for these tales, but even those who have been published are eager to see how their peers "made it."

In "How It Sold," dozens of published authors throw open the windows on how they took their books from initial idea to the bookstore shelf. All the juicy details, including finding an agent (or not), writing proposals and synopses, negotiating an offer, working with editors and publicists, and more are included. Each individual publishing tale offers a unique, honest and personal view of the many paths to publication.

I am looking for essays of between 500-1800 words from published authors who are willing to share their own journey through the twists and turns of the publishing landscape. I welcome writers from all genres, including:

-Fiction, both literary and mainstream
-Narrative non-fiction
-How-to guides
-Scholarly books
-Comic books
-Coffee table and cookbooks
-Travel guides
-Self-published books
-Series books
-Books of poetry
-Children's and juvenile books
-Memoirs

Writers will retain copyright to their essays. On publication, writers will receive at least two copies of the book, plus an equal share (divided among all contributors) of 1/2 of the total advance for the book.

Please send your submissions by 12/1/04 to:

Katie Allison Granju at katieallisongranju@yahoo.com

call for submissions

2004-10-08T16:27:00.000Z

prepare to gag

2004-10-08T01:24:00.000Z

Today I read perhaps the most offensive thing I've ever run across in a mainstream publication. It's a column in the Knoxville News-Sentinel today. I've italicized the particularly odious parts:

Conservative path helps women defy labels

By LAURA PETROLINO
October 7, 2004

During the presidential primary, I was having a conversation with a good male friend of mine, a staunch Democrat, about politics and the upcoming election. As we discussed the issues, I realized that almost all of his views were identical to mine, con-servative, and yet when it got down to who to vote for, he never even considered a Republican.

When I questioned him on the incongruity of this, he looked at me squarely and said, "But Laura, I'm gay."

"Republicans are happy people, too," I said, but this fact did not convert him, and I doubt it would sway the great majority of gay and lesbian voters who shudder at the word "Republican." This is the case for several groups who pundits and politicians simply expect to vote Democratic even though many of their core values swing to the right. As a young, single professional woman, I undoubtedly fall into Democratic territory, an assumption I resent and believe pigeonholes both me and my peers.

Political researchers have painstakingly analyzed why women, especially single women, vote Democratic. They have come up with several scholarly explanations including economics, religion and other similarly rational conclusions. Unfortunately rational rarely applies to politics and never to women.

Women vote Democratic for two main reasons:

It's easier to follow the stereotype. Why think? Why follow the issues? Why listen to the debates? I'm a woman; therefore, I am a Democrat.

The Democrats will take care of them. Women, like so many minority groups, feel they are not treated equally in America and therefore find the lure of government providing for them to be very tempting.

It is the common liberal trap. If you become reliant on them, you will always support them out of fear that the nasty Republicans will toss you off of the wagon to have more money to host expensive galas in Cape Cod'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">Cape Cod'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">Cape Cod'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">Cape Cod where they will plot how they can exploit you next.

I hate to tell the feminists this, but voting Democratic is truly the weaker choice. It is acknowledging that you are not equal, that you cannot succeed on your own and that your own skills and talents mean nothing without government help.

I bet the same women who pity housewives and claim they don't need a man vote Democrat every election. After all, why deal with a man when you've got Uncle Sam? Hence, why single women vote Democratic at a greater rate than married women. They are searching desperately for someone to provide for them. That void is filled in a married woman's life, thus making the liberal garble much less tempting.

When one really looks at the situation, the conservative agenda supports a professional woman's goals far more than the failed policies of the left. Look, for example, at the strong support for small business.

According to data from the Small Business Administration, 50 percent of the 10.6 million privately held American firms are owned by women. In Knox County, 23.1 percent of businesses are owned by women. Republican administrations and specifically the Bush administration have done more things to support small business than the Democrats have ever dreamed of.

Tax cuts by the Bush administration have saved 25 million small business owners an average of $3,000 a year. Cuts in the capital gains tax and the taxation of dividends are spurring investments and making it easier for small businesses to raise capital.

In general, conservatives advocate an ownership society. This ranges from small business to family life and home ownership. Under this administration and Congress, there are now 73.4 million homeowners in the United States, more than at any time in history. In Knox County, home ownership is at 66.9 percent. Conservatives believe in helping people succeed just as much as liberals, but instead of providing the success, they provide the tools that enable us to better create our own success. This is something professional woman should find very appealing, unless they take the easy way out.

A woman living in East Tennessee is lucky to be able to live in a conservative section of the state that advocates conservative policies and philosophies. Whether she likes it or not, she is a beneficiary of these policies.

We are also lucky to be surrounded by remarkable conservative elected officials who are (gasp) women. From U.S. Rep. Marsha Blackburn to state Rep. Jamie Hagood and Knox County Commissioner Mary Lou Horner, all of these conservative women have emerged as strong leaders on national, state and local levels.

These women are not fading flowers waiting patiently for the government to take care of them. Instead, they have charted their own path, taken ownership of their lives and created their success. As the election approaches, women need to think about which party and which candidates really advocate and advance our agendas. After all, is it not the stereotypes that historically have held us back the most?

Laura Petrolino is a graduate of Vanderbilt University, where she majored in political science. She worked in Washington, D.C., for the Republican National Senatorial Committee.

Copyright 2004, KnoxNews. All Rights Reserved.
-------

If you find this as bizarre and nasty as I do, you can send your letter to the editor at: letters@knews.com

kids' health initiative

2004-10-07T14:36:00.000Z

Vote Kids http://www.votekids.org is a progressive organization with a mission that makes children's needs a political priority. This past week, Vote Kids introduced several leading pediatricians in a Washington DC press conference to make a joint statement about children's health care in America and where the candidates for President stand.

Prominent pediatricians from across the country, including T. Berry Brazelton and six past presidents of the American Academy of Pediatrics, support John Kerry's effort to provide every child in America with affordable health care coverage.

More: http://votekids.org/pediatricians

HHS Secretary Thompson responded to this week's activity by calling America's leading pediatricians "demagogues" and said: "It is absurd and despicable that doctors are playing politics with children's lives".

As you probably know, 8 million children and youth don't have health insurance. We think that the present administration does not have a plan to provide health coverage to America's children, and that their current tax and budget priorities are eroding hard won health care gains for children.

As part of the pediatricians' effort, Vote Kids is working hard to put this important statement by America's leading pediatricians in front of parents, community leaders, and voters in several important states.

A special page has been set up for supporters to donate and spread the word:

http://www.votekids.org/Act

funny

2004-10-06T17:53:00.000Z

My mother - who works in Nashville - swears she is not making this up. Apparently a local radio station's tease for its upcoming news block today was:

"Big changes for Tiger Woods & Rodney Dangerfield!"

henry

2004-10-06T14:32:00.000Z

In honor of my son Henry's birthday: an essay I wrote a few months ago.

He's a wonderful person. I'm so lucky to know him.

manners matter

2004-10-05T21:07:00.000Z

I have a new column up today. It's about why I emphasize good manners in raising my kids. Tell me what you think.

from a conservative newspaper

2004-10-01T14:37:00.000Z

From the usually conservative Chattenooga Times Free Press:

"President Bush went into Thursday night's debates as the favorite. But
he did not come out the winner. By the end of those 90 minutes,
Americans had seen for themselves that John Kerry is not the caricature of a
waffling politician Mr. Bush tries to present. Rather he is a strong,
resolute leader with a deep knowledge of world affairs and an
encompassing grasp of what it will take to make America stronger and safer and
more respected in the world. He made hash of Mr. Bush's failures to keep
the pressure on Osama bin Laden, to secure this country adequately
against terror attacks, to deal aggressively with what both men agreed was
the greatest threat - nuclear proliferation that can allow real weapons
of mass destruction to get into the hands of terrorists. Mr. Kerry
seized the opportunity Thursday night to define himself to the American
people. And no, he never spoke too long or in a convoluted fashion. He was
clear, direct and undeterred by Mr. Bush's repeated efforts to misstate
his positions. The president continually fell back on campaign
sloganeering rather than offering thoughtful responses to questions. Several
times Mr. Bush simply did not answer a discomfiting question. Mr. Kerry,
by contrast, never dodged."

boycott infant formula

2004-09-24T19:53:00.000Z

There are many reasons why breastfeeding matters, and one of them is that when you do not breastfeed, you have to buy infant formula. And when you buy infant formula, you are supporting formula manufacturers' increasingly successful campaign to decrease breastfeeding rates in the third world, and that's where breastfeeding-or-not is literally and immediately a life or death issue for babies and young children.

attachment parenting in japan

2004-09-23T20:11:00.000Z

Check it out. Here is my book in its Japanese version.

henry's political evolution

2004-09-22T15:01:00.000Z

Reading Andi's essay (below -- the one about her kids & politics) reminded me of this one, which I wrote in 2000.

I am happy to report that this year, Henry -- now age 12 -- is all about getting Bush out of office. He's still super interested in politics and now considers himself a Green, but he's practical enough to know the Democratic Party offers the art of the possible:

Playing Politics

by Katie Allison Granju

I grew up in a house full of liberal Democrats. One of my very first baby photos depicts me – at the tender age of two weeks – being carried on a labor picket line with my striking journalist father. At age ten or so, I became involved in my first political campaign when I wore a dancing potato costume at various election stops for Bob Clement, who was then campaigning to become Tennessee's governor. No one in my family can recall what the potato was supposed to signify, but we all remember the costume. As a high school and college student I spent several summers in D.C. working for two Democratic members of Tennessee’s congressional delegation.

The first time I remember seeing my future husband was as he was hanging around the anti-apartheid shanty town that graced the lawn of the University of Tennessee’s Humanities Building in the spring of 1989. He and I went on to involve ourselves jointly in a variety of progressive causes that mattered to us, and in fact, one of our first dates was captured on the front page of The Tennesseean; we were marching together at a peace rally near the Oak Ridge Y-12 plant.

And then we became parents. Our son Henry was born in the fall of 1991 and we brought him home to our shabby but well-loved Fort Sanders apartment, sure that we had together given life to a budding little activist. We played him Public Enemy and Fugazi and Arlo Guthrie. He appeared on the local news as we strolled him through downtown in Knoxville’s annual Gay Pride parade. From the time he could babble, we encouraged him to develop his own ideas and to take a stand for things he believes in.

So it shouldn’t have surprised us too much when, at the age of five, he announced that he had developed a strong preference in the 1996 presidential election.

“I’m for Bob Dole,” he proclaimed with unwavering authority.

My husband Chris and I both stared down at Henry, sure we had misunderstood.

“But Henry, why are you for Bob Dole?” we asked. I figured that in a Republican town like Knoxville, Bob Dole was getting all the playground buzz. Maybe Henry was just trying to fit in with his friends at Rocky Hill Elementary.

“I ‘m for Bob Dole because he’s a war hero and has a lot of experience. I like his ideas on lower taxes,” explained Henry.

Despite our calmly reasoned protestations, Henry stuck with Dole to the bitter end of the ’96 campaign. After it was over, Chris and I continued to talk politics with our little supply-sider in hopes that his support for Mr. Viagra had been a fluke, a childish whim. But as the 2000 election year rolled around, Henry again went for the Republican nominee. He became a vocal Bush supporter early in the primaries and hung with him until the last chad was (not) counted.

No amount of reasoning could sway my third grade son from his choice. In fact, to my daily annoyance, he took to proselytizing to his sister and brother, five-year-old Jane and three year old Elliot.

“Now Elliot,” he would start in whenever he wanted to get a rise out of me, “tell Mama who you want to be president.”

“George W. Bush!” Elliot would warble with gusto as I cringed.

I am happy to report that my daughter went for Nader (one of her kindergarten-age buddies told his parents that he too was for the candidate he thought was named “The Ralphinator”), but Jane ended up switching her allegiance to Gore when it came time for her to enter the “Kids Voting” booth on election day.

After the election was all over, Henry and I went out to dinner together in the Old City and I again tried to get to the heart of his political views. I talked to him about the values that matter to me, about my views on world events and social issues.

“I understand all that stuff Mom,” he responded with some frustration. “That’s why I was for Bush. Because he represents things that matter to me, like being against abortion. I’m against abortion. And it really bothered me when Gore said stuff during the campaign that wasn’t exactly true. You always told me that was wrong.”

Suddenly, I was speechless. I looked at my handsome, earnest son gazing back at me over his child’s plate of spaghetti, and I suddenly felt so incredibly proud of him. And I experienced one of those oh-so- fleeting moments as a parent when you know you’re doing OK.

Even though Henry may not agree with me on the details, he has absorbed the family values we are trying to impart: honesty, civic engagement, integrity, and personal responsibility for one’s decisions. I had been browbeating him with my opinions when in fact, he was carefully weighing his own.

As happy as I am that Henry is so interested in politics, I do hope he doesn’t go the Young Republican route in ‘04. After all, I love the kid a lot and I’d really hate to have to send him away to be a foreign exchange student until the election is over.

Copyright Katie Allison Granju 2000-2003. All rights reserved
Originally appeared in Metro Pulse

my neighborhood

2004-09-22T01:27:00.000Z

I love my neighborhood. I bought a 1930 Craftsman bungalow here three months ago and have quickly come to feel at home. It's a walking neighborhood, with sidewalks and streetlights. People are always out walking and my kids zoom up and down the street on their scooters and bikes. All the houses have front porches, so I've already met most of my immediate neighbors. The folks living here are a nice mix of longtime residents (One couple on our street has lived in their house for SIXTY YEARS!) and younger people buying and fixing oold houses. Unlike most of very Republican Knoxville, my street is decorated with lots of John Kerry signs (we have one too). I can walk to work in only ten minutes on the days when the kids are with their father (most mornings I have to drive them to their schools on the other side of town). The neighborhood is truly a neighborhood, with small businesses, shops, churches, and restaurants. Tonight my kids and I walked to the Time Warp Tea Room for a nice supper of sandwiches, chili and iced chai. And we can walk downtown in about thirty minutes.

I should have moved to North Knoxville eons ago. And unless I move to the country, which I may do someday. I'll never live in a neighborhood without sidewalks again.

childishness & politics

2004-09-21T17:26:00.000Z

Read my friend Andi Buchanan's terrific essay on her children's political views in The Christian Science Monitor.

great pyrenees

2004-09-19T18:08:00.000Z

I have a new puppy! He's an 11 week old Great Pyrenees named Leo. He came from a farm where his parents guard Alpacas and goats.

I used to have another Great Pyrenees named Leo and he was much loved, but when my life became totally disrupted several years ago due to divorce, moving to a rental, new job, etc, I had to make the extremely difficult and still painful decision to find him a new home, which I did with the help of a reputable Great Pyrenees rescue group. I still miss him.

Now we are all settled again in a house we own with a yard and I felt ready for a puppy. We already have one dog: Fiat is a Jack Russell mix and I love him, but Great Pyrs are my favorite breed. I feel much better with a huge livestock guardian breed watching over my children and my house.

One interesting thing about Pyrs is how instinctive their behavior is. Leo is only three months old but he already walks our fence line, barking at strange animals and dogs. He already settles himself against the front door at night, staying alert to everything going on. He is a little more reserved than my previous Pyr, so I think he'll be an even better family guardian, although I will make sure he gets plenty of socialization.

bell buckle

2004-09-18T02:55:00.000Z

I am from Bell Buckle, TN. I grew up there and my mother, grandparents, first cousins, Uncle John, Aunt Lulu, and brother and family all live there still -- within an eight block radius. My children and I spend a lot of time there.

Interestingly, all of us are actually transplants to Bell Buckle. Between 1976 and 1978, numerous members of my family moved there from other areas of the country (we are a tight knit bunch and like being around one another) and we've been there ever since.

It's a funky place and now, in response to a huge argument as to whether Bell Buckle should fall prey to strip malls and suburban sprawl, my Uncle John has launched a Bell Buckle newspaper, The Patriot-Commentator.

Check it out. It's grassroots journalism at its finest.

As Jello Biafra says, "be the media."

mother, interrupted

2004-09-16T17:29:00.000Z

I have a new Parent Imperfect column up here.

It's about one more way that divorce sucks.

Let me know what you think.

Katie

jane over fences

2004-09-13T20:05:00.000Z

Here are some cute pix of my daughter Jane showing Susan Kuliasha's large pony, Chenille.

Photo #1

Photo #2

Photo #3

mamasink

2004-09-11T13:10:00.000Z

A few years ago, I started an e-mail list for mothers who write. It's called writermamas, and it's attracted the participation of many of my favorite writers, including Bee Lavender, Andrea Buchanan, Ayun Halliday, Faulkner Fox, Cecelia Cancellaro, Hillary Flower, Spike Gillespie, and more...

We now have our own online bookstore and blog focused on mothers who write. It's called MamasInk.com (get it?).

Visit us and check it out.

terror in a bottle

2004-09-02T21:52:00.000Z

From the current issue of US News and World Report in their Washington Whispers column:

"Terror in a bottle

Thought you'd heard everything there was to know about terrorists and their money? Think again. Seems some Middle Eastern terrorists may be paying for their dirty work with proceeds from stolen infant formula. FBI agents say some alleged participants in baby formula theft and fraud rings have financial ties to organizations or individuals suspected of supporting terrorism. Networks of criminals of Middle Eastern descent, the feds say, are involved in the schemes, which involves repackaging stolen formula and reselling it to wholesalers and stores."

breastfeeding & sids

2004-09-01T23:10:00.000Z

Today I read a very interesting and comprehensive story about SIDS ,and some new research indicating that infection may play a role in some SIDS deaths. Unfortunately, as is usually the case when people write about SIDS, absolutely no mention is made of the fact that it has been conclusively proven that breastfeeding lowers a baby's risk for SIDS. Or, put more accurately, not breastfeeding raises a baby's risk for SIDS.

Along with parental smoking, and baby's sleep position, breastfeeding is one of the few things parents have any control over with respect to protecting their babies from crib death. Yet, our cultural boas against breastfeeding means that most parents don't get this message clearly, or at all.

If some cases of SIDS are linked to viral or bacterial infections, this may explain one of the reasons why breastfeeding is protective. Formula-fed babies are demonstrably and significantly more likely to contract bacterial and viral infections.

the governator & human rights

2004-09-01T02:37:00.000Z

Ahnuld's speech to the RNC was very Reaganesque and hit all the notes he needed to hit, but one passage bothered me a great deal. He spoke of how the U.S. supported the Tianamen Square protestors and Nelson Mandela. Ummmmmmm......but, well, we really didn't. In fact, we continue to pretty much ignore the horrible human rights abuses of the Chinese government so we can get all those cheap jamboxes and flip-flops.

fire that speechwriter

2004-09-01T02:30:00.000Z

I'm watching Barbara and Jenna Bush introduce their mother at the RNC. The speech is SOOOO BAD. They actually referred to "Sex and the City" and their grandmother, Barbara Bush the elder, in the same sentence. Even Barbara Bush looked visibly appalled. Then they told us that their parents know how to "shake it like a polaroid picture," apropos of nothing. It was just a really weird, forced, disjointed speech and Jenna chortled nervously (sounding amazingly like Beavis and Butthead) between every sentence.

I actually felt bad for them, because they should have had better prep and a better speech.

when parenting sucks

2004-09-01T02:20:00.000Z

I can't always figure out why some days, home life spins out of control, but today did. I burned breakfast and got two of my three children to school late. I was so stressed that I hollered at Elliot and Jane before I dropped them off, which put 6 year old Elliot in such a snit that he threw himself on the ground at his teacher's feet as I drove off. I called the school to make sure he was feeling better and they assured me that he settled right in as soon as I left, but I felt like a terrible mother all day.

Then the evening went badly because Henry, my 12 year old, was really tired. When he's tired, he gets sort of hysterical and weepy at bedtime, which he did tonight. He also can't get himself to sleep and can't get to sleep with me patting his back because he's just so frazzled. And then Elliot announced that he wanted to sleep in a big carboard box in my room. Usually, I would have humored this request until he gave up on it, but it was late and Henry was still flopping around on his bed moaning and groaning, and then my niece Eleanor, who was spending the night, suddenly announced she was homesick and needed to go home.

Aaaaaaaaghhhhhh.

sharon olds

2004-08-31T00:42:00.000Z

I've just discovered two poems by Sharon Olds that I love.

happy birthday elvis

2004-08-25T14:09:00.000Z

Today is Elvis Costello's fiftieth birthday.

bill o'reilly on john kerry's swift boat brouhaha

2004-08-16T16:15:00.000Z

I can't believe I agree with Bill O'Reilly about this, but I do.

just say no to homework

2004-08-16T15:04:00.000Z

In honor of my children's first day of school, here are my thoughts on why homework is a bad idea.

jane turns nine

2004-08-15T16:43:00.000Z

My daughter, Jane is nine years old today. The time has passed so quickly that ike most parents, I can't believe how old she is.

Jane is special because I contracted a dangerous virus, CMV, while I was pregnant with her. I was hospitalized for a week during my first trimester and was advised to get an abortion, which I almost did. This is because CMV is a leading cause of congenital mental retardation, deafness, blindness and other serious health and developmental problems. Two separate amnios revealed that my baby was indeed infected with CMV virus in utero. I was really scared.

On the evening Jane was born, the hospital room was full of doctors and nurses standing ready to rush the sick newborn off to the neonatal intensive care unit. Instead, the baby arrived weighing 6lb 14 ozs and with a head full of black hair. She was completely healthy but for some minor eye problems that quickly resolved themselves. She also had such a loud, hearty wail that I knew she would be okay.

Jane's only lingering problem from the CMV is her teeth. She has gotten way more cavities than anyone else in her family because the high fevers I had in the first trimester weakened her enamel. Other than that, she is fine.

I adore having a daughter. She is a constant revelation to me. She looks absolutely nothing like me, with her dark skin, hair and eyes -- compliments of her father's French heritage. In fact, when she was a baby, people used to ask me if she was adopted. She's gorgeous.

She's a competitive equestrian, which is a joy to watch. I put her on a pony for the first time when she was five years old and haven't been able to get her off since. She's a driven athlete in her sport and works really hard at it.

She's also a girl's girl. She loves clothes, dolls, shoes, new hair-dos and Hilary Duff. She loves to read but would rather be riding or playacting some dramatic scenario she's imagined, often bringing both her brothers into the game.

I am so blessed.

2004-08-15T16:42:00.000Z

Jane

2004-08-15T16:36:00.000Z

Jane rides Shazaam

2004-08-15T16:32:00.000Z

Jane with baby and telephone

olympics

2004-08-15T02:08:00.000Z

I wasn't that excited about the Olympics but now that I'm watching them, I have to admit I've been sucked in. I'm one of those intensely patriotic types of liberals (
(the kind people like Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter say don't exist) and I got all teary watching Michael Phelps listening to the national anthem after he won the swimming gold.

Of course, as a horsey person, it's the equestrian events I'm most excited about. One of the horses competing with the U.S. team this year was purchased for only $2500 a few years ago by his current rider (a firefighter near Seattle). The horse was formerly an unsuccessful racehorse and a pack horse.

These are the kinds of stories those of us without unlimited horse budgets like to hear ;-)

nanny needed

2004-08-13T16:37:00.000Z

I am looking for a part-time nanny in Knoxville. Hours would be 2:30 pm until 7:00 pm three to five days per week. Must be able to drive own car and have great refs and clean driving record. Competitive pay + mileage.

The job will involve picking my three school age kids up and ferrying them around to their various afterschool activities, plus hanging out with them at home. We have a pretty active family, so the person who is right for this job will need to be energetic and mature. Must like animals, including dogs and horses.

This is a great job for a college or grad student.

Email me at katieallisongranju@yahoo.com if you are interested or know someone who might be.

mcgreevey's resignation

2004-08-13T15:30:00.000Z

I have a lot of compassion for New Jersey Governor McGreevey's apparent lifelong struggle to deny the reality that he is gay. I agree that it took courage to come out on national television and he certainly did not blame anyone else for his problems in his rather moving resignation speech.

But the issue here isn't homosexuality. It's infidelity (he's married) and dangerous political patronage in return for sex (hiring his unqualified boyfriend to head New Jersey's homeland security efforts at a salary of 110K annually).

No matter what your sexual orientation, it's wrong to cheat on your partner and children and it's wrong to betray the people who elected you by hiring people to important positions because you are sleeping with them.

babies were born to be breastfed

2004-08-03T13:36:00.000Z

I finally saw one of the controversial Ad Council-produced billboards that I wrote about last winter -- the ones that the infant formula industry continue to try to kill.

It was on a a small highway in rural South Carolina. It was completely black except for one line in white: "Babies were born to be breastfed."

I was pleased to see it and I think the message is simple and to-the-point but it amazed me to see this incredibly unassuming and un-slick billboard because I know how hard the formula industry has worked to prevent these billboards from appearing.

tropical storm alex & pawley's sland

2004-08-02T23:26:00.000Z

My children, my sister, my bro-in-law, and my niece and nephew are vacationing together this week at Pawley's Island in South Carolina. We go to the beach every August but usually we go to the same house every year on Edisto Island. We waited too long to book our Edisto house this year so decided to try something different with Pawley's.

It's a very nice house and a very nice island but I still like our slightly less posh house on funky, southern goth old Edisto more than I do preppy Pawley's. At Edisto, people really seem to live there (and they do) and the amusement for us consists of things like walking to the one and only store on the island -- a smelly, cramped Piggly Wiggly -- to buy sunscreen and fish bait. On Edisto, there are spooky old graveyards and lots of hanging moss and people sitting on mattresses in their yards eating boiled peanuts. There's weird and random folk art in the marshes and I can go into Charleston -- one of my very favorite cities in the world -- for the day. Here at Pawley's, the day trip would have to be "Pigeon Forge on the coast" -- Myrtle Beach, my idea of hell on earth.

Still, the beach is always fun. This year my littlest child, Elliot, age 6, has suddenly decided he loves the water and today his Uncle Ray taught him to skimboard. Elliot is a very bold, athletic kid but for some reason, he has always been tentative around the water, unlike his siblings and cousins. But something changed since last summer and now I spend far more time trying to call him back closer to shore than urging him to get in.

Apparently there is a big tropical storm off the Carolinas but you would't know it from the view out the window of our beach house. People keep calling us to ask if our vacation has been rained out, but honestly, the weather couldn't be better. The only thing I've noticed is that the surf is pretty rough, but it's been sunny, hot and gorgeous.

dog in knoxville needs home

2004-07-28T23:51:00.000Z

I have the most wonderful stray dog at my house. He's a neutered male and very cute -- well, actually, he's so ugly he's cute. A friend tells me he looks like a cross between a hyena and a potbellied pig, but I think he's actually a cross between an australian cattle dog and a chihuahua. He's quite small -- about the size of a cairn terrier or pug, with the merle coat of an aussie. He has one blue eye. A very unusual looking dog.

He has PERFECT house manners. He is extremely calm and laid back and loves kids. He is fine with my cats and my other dog, but I think he would probably do best as an only dog (cats ok). He walks well on a leash but mostly likes to nap on the couch. He barks an alert when people come to the door but is not barky in the least.He rides well in the car.

This would be a perfect dog for an older person or someone who isn't home as much as a more active dog might need. He loves my kids and has been sleeping on their beds at night.

Let me know if you are interested.

knoxvillians blogging from the democratic convention

2004-07-27T18:30:00.000Z

If you are wondering what your East TN neighbors who are attending this week's Democratic National Convention are doing, seeing and thinking, check out this blog

gotta love the news in east tennessee

2004-07-23T15:29:00.000Z

Stories like this one make my job a lot more fun. This one is pretty good too.

don't touch the blue ball

2004-07-18T15:45:00.000Z

The television station for which I am a producer is owned by the Gannett Corporation. For the past few days I was at Gannett HQ in the D.C. area for meetings. I was eager to see the bldg because I had heard it was simply amazing ...and it is. It's huge and gorgeous in a moderne sort of way. Lots of glass and water and cryptic art installations. It's on a big "campus" with a pond and walking trails.

Before I left, coworkers who have been there laughingly teased me to not "touch the blue ball" while at Gannett. They wouldn't tell me exactly what they meant, so I googled "Gannett" and "blue ball" and discovered that this is what they were talking about.

I never saw the blue ball. I think it must be on the executive floor. But I made a point not to touch anything ;-)

indya kincannon

2004-07-09T15:48:00.000Z

There are lots of good reasons to vote for Indya Kincannon for the Knox County School Board, but honestly, I'd probably vote for her even if I didn't know anything about her views simply because she's the only political candidate I know of with beautiful pictures of her waterbirth included on her campaign website.

Motherhood is powerful!

martin pleasant

2004-07-07T22:08:00.000Z

If you care about the future of Knoxville and Knox County, you should support Martin Pleasant's campaign

i'm reading...horse people

2004-07-05T18:58:00.000Z

funny jane

2004-07-05T18:54:00.000Z

The other day, my eight year old daughter, Jane asked me why it's "rude to ask someone how old their horse is." I asked her to repeat her question because I didn't quite understand it, and she repeated it; she wanted to know why it is considered rude to ask someone how old their horse is.

So I told her I had never heard that this was considered rude, and asked her to tell me who had told her that.

Well, she said, you have to look at a horse's teeth to know how old it is and there's that saying, "never look a gift horse in the mouth," ergo -- in the world according to Jane -- it must be rude to ask someone how old their horse is!

(Clearly we haven't been reading enough of the classics at home)

front porches

2004-07-05T14:37:00.000Z

I spent the weekend moving from the soulless (sp?) apartment-complex apartment my children and Ihave lived in for the past year into our new house. I still have a lot of unpacking to do, but all our stuff is now relocated.

I never could get comfortable in that apartment, which puzzled me. It was actually a really nice apartment, as they go. Everything was new and clean and worked well. It had a nice little kitchen and even a fireplace. There was a pool and a pond and plenty of green space. But the kids and I just never felt at home there.

For months I tried to convince them that they should like it -- that it was really a nice place -- but finally I just gave in and agreed with them that it felt empty and cold. I promised that we would buy a house as soon as we could, and now we have.

Our new house is very homey and warm. It is a working class family's bungalow, built in 1930. It has wonderful wood trim and weird nooks and crannies, and lots of big windows. The yard is nice and the old city neighborhood has sidewalks. But best of all, it has a front porch.

I grew up in houses with front porches and I like them. At my last house -which was a 50s rancher with no front porch where we lived from 1995-2002 -- we added a huge, elaborate deck on the back and I loved it, but I now realize that when you do all your hanging out and sitting and talking on the BACK side of your house, you miss seeing the world go by.

I like sitting on the front porch of our new house and I've even put a picnic table on it. I suspect we will eat a lot of meals out there and I look forward to meeting our neighbors and watching the activity of the street.

Some day I will likely add a back patio or deck for when we want more privacy, but I sure do like the front porch.

wow

2004-06-29T17:26:00.000Z

From the BBC today, some of the most beautiful and thought-provoking pictures from inside the womb that I have ever seen.

today's read - spine-chilling

2004-06-29T17:20:00.000Z

I started this book last night and was so engrossed that I stayed up way into the night. It's an inside view of the minute-to-minute events at the Whote House on 9-11 that really made my hair stand on end.

Clarke makes some compelling comparisons between the Cold War-era Soviets and today's pro-Caliphate Islamist movement.

More later when I've read the whole book.

Knox County's Web Server

2004-06-28T18:17:00.000Z

One more note about my blog traffic: I sure do get a lot of hits from Knox County employees. Hmmmm.....

So hi there. Hope you find what you're looking for -- on my blog and in the world at large.

ABC's 20/20 on formula companies' influence on public health awareness campaigns

2004-06-28T15:20:00.000Z

Here is the story 20/20 did recently on how the infant formula industry managed to take all the bite out of a planned public health campaign on the risks of not breastfeeding. Here is my own story on the same issue from a few months ago.

Yep, the fearless editor at HipMama.com (that would be Bee Lavender) scooped ABC News on this important story.

I originally wrote the piece for a major online magazine for which I've written quite a bit, but in the end, the editor there decided that she didn't quite get the hook and that there wasn't enough of a story to tell. So I offered it to Bee.

a good pony is hard to find

2004-06-28T02:34:00.000Z

We have now been shopping for a new pony for my daughter, Jane, for months. I never knew this could be so difficult. All we need is a hunter pony between 12.0 and 12.3 hands with solid lead changes and nice movement at a price we can swing.

Ahhh, but there's the kicker; the price. Ponies are so unbelievably expensive. But just when I start to think that I could find the perfect pony if I only I had 25K to spend, I hear from a friend who has her own training barn about this child we know whose parents can afford almost any pony and are able to take her to all the A-circuit shows and the kid still can't seem to get qualified for pony finals or even win very good ribbons. This child has been through four different 4 and 5 figure ponies in the past 24 months.

For now Jane is riding Shazaam -- barn name: "Gomer" -- a gorgeous but somewhat nutty pony belonging to her trainer. She rode Gomer at a few shows last summer while her pony was recovering from an injury. At one memorable show at Kentucky Horse Park, Gomer jumped the rail that encloses the ring because he thought it was just another jump in the course he was jumping. I wasn't there, but people who saw it happen said it was quite impressive ;-)

Anyway, Gomer is less silly than he was a year ago, but still sort of spooky and fearful. Plus, his lead changes still aren't there yet. But that's what we have to work with for now...

2004-06-28T02:32:00.000Z

See, he's a very cute pony.

2004-06-28T02:31:00.000Z

Jane and Gomer

2004-06-28T02:30:00.000Z

This is Jane riding Gomer last summer

are you looking for me?

2004-06-27T21:14:00.000Z

It's always interesting to look at my blog's traffic statistics, and I have noticed that that at least 40% of the people who visit have arrived here by searching under my name. So if you are one of those folks, satisfy my curiosity and tell me what you were looking for.

Sometimes the search strings are pretty obvious, like "katie allison granju divorce" (yep, I'm getting one) or "granju salon.com" (uh-huh, I've written for Salon a good bit), but other times they are just plain freaky, including "katie granju rhubarb" and "granju dental work" (both real search queries in the blog's traffic stats)...

So tell me what you came for. If you have a question for me, feel free to ask.

And I'm reading...

2004-06-27T21:02:00.000Z

skywatching

2004-06-27T20:41:00.000Z

Today I'm listening to Pete Droge

dr. sears + infant formula

2004-06-27T13:55:00.000Z

A writer-mama friend of mine -- the author of a wonderful book published by La Leche League -- tells me that last time she was in Walmart, she heard the voice of Dr. William Sears coming over the P.A. system, advertising infant formula fortified with DHA.

This makes me sad. I wrote about Sears' surprising ties to the infant formula industry a few years ago. But if my friend really did hear this at Walmart (I suppose it's possible she mis-heard -- and I haven't heard the ads myself) it appears he's given up all pretense of supporting the WHO Code on the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes.

london music

2004-06-24T03:14:00.000Z

Tonight I'm listening to The First of a Million Kisses by Fairground Attraction. I first heard it when I spent a semester living in London on college. When I hear it, it reminds me of wandering aimlessly thru Hyde Park and take-out curry near Paddington Station.

they're home!

2004-06-24T03:05:00.000Z

My two oldest children are home after several weeks in France with their grandparents. They had a great time, but I sure did miss them. Now we have to get packed up and ready to move into our new house next week.

the clinton memoir

2004-06-24T02:54:00.000Z

So I spent an hour or so flipping thru the book this afternoon and I have to agree with the reviews that say it's badly written. It's just one long narrative ("So then this happened and after that I did this and the next day I did this other thing...." and on and on and on...).

I saw him interviewed on Oprah yesterday and was very disturbed at how flip he was in answering her question as to whether he feels he owes Monica Lewinsky an apology. He laughed the question off.

Hell yes he owes her an apology. Of course he does. She is responsible for her own immoral and unwise choice to get involved with him, but the onus of the blame falls on him, since he's thirty years older than she is and was her boss.

The Lewinsky affair got him a $10 million book deal. All it got her was a ruined life -- before her life had really even begun.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be Monica Lewinsky on a day-to-day basis?

My favorite political memoir is Keeping Faith by Jimmy Carter. I also really like G. Gordon Liddy's autobiography.

comments?

2004-06-23T17:35:00.000Z

So, ummmmm, I finally added a comments feature to my blog, but so far, no one has commented on anything. Maybe this is because my stuff is too dull, but go ahead, make my day and leave your thoughts.

ronald reagan as father

2004-06-22T21:21:00.000Z

Although I was not a fan of most of Reagan's policies or social views, I couldn't help but be touched by all the TV and print shots in the last week of tiny, frail, elderly Mrs. Reagan grieving. Her love for her husband was manifest in every look and gesture, and her grief was palpable. Their love story is fabled and the photos of the two of them together over the years make it clear that they meant the world to one another.

All of this is obviously a beautiful thing. I'm all for passionate love, romantic love, enduring marriages and all the rest.

But I also found myself wondering, "what about their children?" They were all present and accounted for, but little attention was given to their relationship with their father -- in life or in death. The family's estrangements with one another over the years has been well documented and thanks to Patti Davis's many, many essays on the subject, everyone knows that they all made their peace in the end.

But still, the lack of deep connection between father, mother, and their adult children was as evident as Mrs. Reagan's misery and loss. In the coverage of the events, and the discussions by people who knew the Reagans over the years, it was as if the Reagan children and grandchildren were sort of an afterthought.

All families are complex in their own way, and no one can really understand intra-family relationships from the outside, but I think it's safe to say, based on the history of the Reagans (much of it verbalized or written about by family members themselves) that Nancy and Ronald Reagan didn't ever really get the hang of developing strong bonds with their kids.

Maybe they were too focused on one another, as Patti Davis has suggested in her writing. Maybe they were too busy running the state of California and then the free world. I don't know. But I know that at my own funeral, I hope that the first thing anyone feels like saying about me is that I loved my children fiercely and that being their mother was the most important role in my life.

As Jackie Kennedy once famously said:

"If you bungle raising your children, nothing else much matters in life.

Books on the nightstand

2004-06-21T21:20:00.000Z

What I'm reading:

Margaret Mead: A Life

Archers of Loaf

2004-06-21T20:29:00.000Z

I'm listening to Icky Mettle

2004-06-21T01:48:00.000Z

The living room in my new house

2004-06-21T01:47:00.000Z

The front room in my new house

2004-06-20T22:02:00.000Z

Have you ever noticed how much that guy who asks the questions in "Inside the Actors Studio" looks like he's been embalmed? He sort of looks like a bloated Lenin -- the Lenin you see inside the glass box in Red Square...

(note to self: finish assignment for magazine...quit procrastinating on blogger....)

2004-06-20T19:17:00.000Z

My son Henry,. budding rock god and all-around superkid

A new house

2004-06-20T17:33:00.000Z

I bought a house last week after looking for a year or so. It's a really sweet 1930 bungalow in this Knoxville neighborhood. Thanks to all who suggested houses and neighborhoods. Here are some pictures of the house. My children and I will be moving in at the end of June.

The transformative hell that is divorce

2004-06-20T13:51:00.000Z

"Marriage changed me. Motherhood changed me more. But divorce changed me the most."

Just one of the many painfully astute observations in my friend Jeannie's latest column in the Twin Cities magazine, The Rake.